untangling these threads of thought

fic: closing speed

Thu, 27 Aug 2020 03:01:01 GMT

persona 5 fic, spoilers for royal, 4k+

Akira is a virtue that Goro can ill afford.
(Or: envy, debts, longing, and trains).

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fic: catch us on our good side

Thu, 27 Aug 2020 02:57:53 GMT

persona 5 fic, contains some references to persona 5 royal, actors au

KURUSU Thanks to our passionate Phans, from Joker and the Phantom Thieves! (he folds his thumb and index finger together to form a tiny heart by his cheek) Please keep up your support, and Goro-kun and I promise to steal more hearts each week!

or some behind-the-scenes looks at the Phantom Thieves as actors, filming Persona 5 as a drama.

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fic: irregular resolution

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 04:19:58 GMT

spoilers for persona 5 royal, post-canon fic,
akira kurusu/goro akechi, ~7k+

Akira has dreams sometimes;

Akira tips back his head, sets it more deeply into the chair behind him. "Stars can move." He brings up a finger, rotates it slowly in the air, one full circle, and another. "Binary star systems. Because there's more than one...their paths change, because the other exists."

"So they do," Akechi says. Exhales once, then pushes out a thoughtful-sounding hum between his lips. "To be frank, it is disappointing that the stars here, no matter how beautiful, are nothing more than very convincing fakes. Pretty imitations, but nothing more."

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fic: stand and deliver your diamond ring, chapter ii (complete)

Thu, 04 Jun 2020 00:40:42 GMT

Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, with genderswap fem!Akira
some spoilers for persona 5 royal, check warnings in notes; FIC NOW COMPLETE 26k+

Part 2:
He looks over. Leblanc's lamplight tints Akira's face in faint gold and rose tones as she leafs through the papers in front of her, dark eyelashes sweeping down as she scrutinizes the words on them seriously —

In an unconscious motion, her right hand rises to tap her fingers against the line of her neck—slender fingers on pale skin—

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fic: stand and deliver your diamond ring

Mon, 25 May 2020 02:04:00 GMT

Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, with genderswap fem!Akira
some spoilers for persona 5 royal, check warnings in notes; ~12k+

Part 1:

“Weren’t you afraid?” Akechi asks her, “the first time you entered a human heart?”

Akira looks up from her glass, locking eyes with Akechi. “Girls grow up with stories about monsters in the dark,” she says, and shrugs. “I don’t know how much of a difference it makes now that I can see them.”

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fic: ambiguity aversion

Sun, 03 May 2020 23:24:18 GMT

"Give him back," Crow hisses, taking a single step forward. The venom in his voice cracks through the air like a bullet.

or: Goro Akechi puts his negotiation skills to the test.

(contains minor spoilers for persona 5 royal)

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Castling Your King: An Akira Kurusu/Goro Akechi Rec List

Sun, 03 May 2020 23:19:02 GMT

“I’m glad I found you...to paraphrase Hegel, advancement cannot occur without both thesis and antithesis.”

fics may be based on the canons of either Persona 5 + Persona 5 Royal. Check notes and tags of fics for warnings and ratings, esp for violence, dark topics etc.

One-Shots
(includes canon, canon divergence, future fics, and AUs)

all we inherit by Mertiya
Akira visits Akechi’s Palace, and events play out differently.

warm data by scionblad
Goro Akechi was seventeen years old and fond of biking, high-class food, and bouldering. It felt a very mechanical way to get to know a person, like a checklist of the things that made them up.

Bullet Caught Between Your Teethby npcx
Akira's forgiveness is unrelenting. Akechi's heart can hardly keep up.

Start Again At Your Beginnings by joishbishmyoga
The thing about having given your heart, your service, and most of your soul to your country, Soujiro thought, mouthing at an unlit cigarette as he sat uselessly by Akira's bedside for the second night in a row, watching that the kid kept breathing through his concussion... The thing was, you either broke, or you learned to appreciate the simpler things in life. Fine coffee. Fresh curry. Regular customers.

Old friends.

ashes and ruin by SpookyVern
An evening conversation that traveled into Kurusu's attic, ruined by one sentence.

"We know you know about the metaverse.”

furball by hamnet
Goro finds a kitten. Despite everything his logic tells him, he keeps her.

Spring Cleaning by deplore
Goro’s hair grows longer and his feelings grow deeper as he waits for Akira Kurusu to return. Emotions gain a peculiar, foreign dimension to them, like he's slowly being filled with the things that he previously lacked. Or maybe it's more that he's regaining things that he once tried to throw away: his dreams, his passions, his opportunities, all burned to crisps and used as kindling to keep the hell-fire in him fierce and unyielding.

a multitude of deaths, and a world for us alone by deplore
Post-canon AU. Goro and Akira go on a trip together, and Goro has bad dreams.

Goro breathes in deeply and interlaces his fingers. “The night sky,’ he begins to say, and then lets the subject trail off with no action behind it, letting that trite, overused line go unfinished: the night sky is beautiful, which really means – I think you're beautiful. I love you.

get lost tracing my steps back by the hyacinth girl (arguendo)
Favors exchanged after a juvenile court hearing.

Places, everyone by neonsign
Because where Akira Kurusu goes, Goro Akechi follows. Everyone knows the rivalry, even if their knowledge is limited to what’s been in the papers; a game like this draws attention from those content to sit on the sidelines.

With Mournful Tread by Yustiel
There's Akechi, bandaging his wounds in the dusty summer evenings with gentle hands; Akechi, reading the English aloud for his sake; Akechi, with undue viciousness, tearing at the shadow that had threatened them.

"Don't worry," he said. "I won't let them touch you." But oh, they're not the ones he's afraid of. (New Game+ AU)

and it looks so very much like me by Rethira
felix faces him, leans down and murmurs, “i don’t mind if you call me goro, amamiya-kun”

(the velvet room has a new attendant)

Felled by izanyas
At the dawn of their doomed partnership, in a moment of weakness, Joker gives Akechi a chance.

How to Build a Temple by sakuraba
Falling in love -- not the how, but the where. Or: Akechi Goro finally gets something he's desperately been lacking.

i can put on a show by SpineAndSpite
“Were you this hard when you killed me?” the vicious mouth asks.

skeptic by chashmish
Maybe it’s just a born characteristic of Kurusu’s, Goro thinks idly. To be so cynical.

playing with ghosts by dcuros
Late at night, Akira brews a particular blend, sets up the chessboard and chases the ghost of Akechi Goro.

the devil’s details by relationshipcrimes
When Akechi is sentenced to six years in prison after Shido's change of heart, Akira makes sure to stay in touch.

the love exchange by relationshipcrimes
After a late-night accidental kiss at Leblanc, Akira and Akechi wind up in something that could be a casual, low-stress relationship, except that Akechi is incapable of doing anything casually and without stress. As always, Akira has to do everything around here.

when your eyes say it by lesbianedgeworth
Akechi exhales sharply. Annoyed. Better then soft any day, if he matched this with pity Joker would throw himself off a roof and be done with it— he meets Joker’s eyes as abruptly as he decides to do anything. “You like me. Is that right?”

in the aftermath of february second, akechi and joker have some things to say.

it’s not the waking by theexistentiallyqueer
There’s something hot and thick sitting in his throat almost choking him, something heavy and full of furious grief.You should know the moment when you first fall in love. (Persona 5 Royal spoilers)

the second hand of fate ticks closer to home by theexistentiallyqueer
“Hey,” Akira says, catching Akechi by the sleeve of his jacket before he can leave. “Stay for a bit.”

He doesn’t look to see if Akechi stays; he can hear that Akechi stays, because the door doesn’t open and the bell doesn’t ring. Akira goes behind the bar to grab a canister off the shelves on the wall and make them both coffee. (Persona 5 Royal spoilers)

To err is human by Katraa
to forgive, divine. It’s a matter of perspective. At least that’s what he tells himself so he can sleep at night. His sleep isn’t sound, instead riddled with nightmares and roaming hands. Hot whiskey eyes and bony fingers make themselves at home in his mind and he can’t escape. There’s a bomb, ticking away, set to explode – or perhaps implode? – in less than a month and yet he can’t help himself from wanting to play with the wires.

life expectancy by futuresoon
It's remarkably dull, knowing you aren't real.

ambiguity aversion by lady_peony
*disclaimer that this fic was written by me, but i think it’s good so /shrug
"Give him back," Crow hisses, taking a single step forward. The venom in his voice cracks through the air like a bullet. or: Goro Akechi puts his negotiation skills to the test.

irregular resolution by lady_peony
Akira has dreams sometimes;
Akira tips back his head, sets it more deeply into the chair behind him. "Stars can move." He brings up a finger, rotates it slowly in the air, one full circle, and another. "Binary star systems. Because there's more than one...their paths change, because the other exists."

Fold In by SomewhereFlying
As long as Goro was still around, the Thieves would be in danger - if not from him, then from Shido - and that was something he could no longer bear. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is run away.

What You Don’t Know by SomewhereFlying
Akira was supposed to be keeping his nose down during his probation at Shujin, but sometimes things don’t work out the way you expect. Sometimes you befriend the other misfits in school and start working to expose an abusive teacher for the scum that he is. Hey, it couldn’t be helped - these things happen.

Sometimes you have to distract the student council vice president by making out with him. These things happen.

leave me something to remember you by by gesugao
Akira tries to save Goro from the world, other people, and himself.

cognitive by D_Maradine
(Warnings for major character death) In the Engine Room, Akira orders a forceful Palace exit in attempt to save Goro. However, the one who comes back to the reality is not him, but detective's cognitive version, thrown into real Goro's body. And he doesn't really get how this "real world" works.

uncertainty principle by akc
In the silence, Akira asks his ceiling why things turned out this way. His ceiling does not answer. (goro and akira are childhood friends au)

Between Scylla and Charybdis by KivaEmber
Akira has a near-fatal encounter in Maruki's Palace. Akechi... barely takes it well.

It’s a Date by KivaEmber
Goro stared at his reflection in dismay. It didn’t compare to Akira, but at least he looked like he put some effort in. Fine, his rival can have the win in presentation, but this competition was just getting started. Goro will sweep him off his feet and turn him into a blushing, stammering mess by the end of the night.

He will not lose.

Cover Your Tracks by prosodiical
On the day Goro Akechi first entered the Metaverse, a stranger followed him in. A little more than two years later, Akira Kurusu returns to Shibuya, accidentally stumbles into another Palace, and meets a talking cat.

Place All You’re Given in Infinite Trust by chashmish
Inexplicably, Ren dropped to one knee.

Goro's mouth fell open. "What the hell are you doing? You don't know who's been walking on that floor. Or where their feet have been."

Ren paid no mind to Goro's words or to the other shoppers, who were starting to gape at the two of them. He looked solemnly at Goro. Then he said, "Will you marry me?"

Epic Fics

Crooked Hands by coolkidroland
In which Akira absolutely does not learn to leave well enough alone.
(alternate title: A Fork in Want of a Light Socket). Part of a series. Followed by Goblin Men and The Reed Which Grows Nevermore Again.

an all encompassing guide on how to stop the snow from falling by akc
After living quietly by himself for nearly two years, dead in the eyes of the Phantom Thieves, Akechi Goro makes the decision to step into Leblanc unprompted to face them all, unaware of the tumultuous unfolding and unfurling that will come along with it.

long goes into the night by confidantes
Ren & Goro find each other again after ten long years.

take me to church by cruellae
“I’m going to give you the one thing you want most in the entire world. The one thing your heart yearns for, even if you don’t realize it.”

Goro draws in a sharp breath at the sight of the familiar silhouette in his kitchen, long and lanky with tousled black hair. It’s been more than a year, but he still hasn’t forgotten the way Akira moves.

Akira turns and smiles, his messy dark hair falling over his forehead, his eyes a brilliant sunflower yellow.

marigolds by colbulb
Akechi meets a mysterious being chained to a door after death and gains a second chance.

Interobject by howitleft
It is June when Akira is ambushed by someone wearing the face of Goro Akechi claiming to be from next year, sent back to the past by Igor to help undo a bad decision.

Dreaming of Butterflies by heavymoons
Akira wakes up, his mind bursting with visions of the future and his heart burning with resolve … only to discover that he hadn't needed to worry about it at all.
(I.e. NG+ maxstats!Akira might be an anxious, mildly depressed wreck but he has never looked this good.)

people like you, people like me by cybersquatt
I know about the Metaverse and what you are, he sometimes thinks about dumping the hard truth onto Kurusu, just to see that notorious poker face off guard at least once. You better stop this hero act before you ruin us both. As if he's not the one driving them off the road. (Persona 5 Royal setting)

killed with kindness by veterization
Goro can't quite figure out why so many people keep acting like they're his friend. (Or: the one where the Phantom Thieves decide to know thy enemy, befriend thy enemy, love thy enemy, crush on thy enemy).

it takes a village by shouldbeworking
Each passing day brings new challenges, and each passing day brings his plan closer to fruition.

So, who cares if he keeps remembering things that never happened? So what if there are eight Phantom Thieves, rather than the three he expected? And so what if their leader has proven surprisingly adept at avoiding him?

None of it matters. A new game is starting, and Akechi Goro is going to win it.

a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn by theexistentiallyqueer
Goro spent three years in juvenile hall, unmoored and deserted on a metaphorical island with no ship in sight. He never planned for a future beyond ruining the man who ruined him. (The funny thing about futures is that they have their own way of finding you.)

you will not take my heart alive by myotinae
Kurusu leans forward and says, “Look. You do deserve to feel this bad. I’m sorry, but you do. But you don’t deserve to be alone while you deal with it. So I’ll leave now if you want me to, but I’m coming back tomorrow. All right?” Goro wipes his face with his sleeve and glowers at him: Great Akira the Moralizer, who knows exactly what everyone else deserves. Perfect, beloved Akira.

Once More With Feeling by beesandtoes
Akira's determined not to let Akechi die this time. Akira's determined not to let Akechi die this time. Akira's determined not to let Akechi die this time. Akira— well, he'll get it next time for sure.

the cognition by relationshipcrimes
You are the captain’s cognition of Goro Akechi, who you have just murdered. Next on the list is Joker.

Nine Lives by KivaEmber
After dying for the second time as Maruki's Ideal Reality crumbled, the last thing Akechi expected was to wake up as a cat, in the past, and get saddled with the impossible job of trying to rehabilitate his past self.

or; Joker gets Morgana. Akechi gets... his future self in cat form.

the first step to find your way is to mark where you have been by futuresoon
(Akechi’s got a Palace, sort of, and Akira’s the only one who can enter it. Now he just has to figure out what he’s supposed to do in a Palace with no Treasure and no Shadow--and if his tag-along even wants him to see what’s in there.)

So Close Your Eyes Close With My Dreams by LovelyLotus
Ren arrives a few days early to Tokyo and is promptly run over (via bicycle) by a certain detective. This accidental meeting sparks an intense friendship that neither boy is willing to let go of, even as forces begin conspiring to set them against one another. Whether it’s Masayoshi Shido or the God of Control, nothing in hell is going to divide Joker and Crow.

Trickster’s Maze by TwilightKnight17
In the aftermath of a year from hell, Akira is fine. Yes, he's been separated from his friends, is home with his distant parents, and hasn't heard from the boy who promised to come back to him, but he's fine. Sure, he's sleeping more, and his friends don't text back much, but he's fine. He always knows what to do.

Everything is fine.

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fanmix: tell you all my secrets

Sun, 03 May 2020 22:48:38 GMT

Tell You All My Secrets; a jazz-inspired mix for a detective and a thief who walk into a club.

{{LISTEN HERE}}

Based on Persona 5 + Persona 5 Royal for Akira Kurusu/Goro Akechi; note that 1 or 2 songs may not play correctly because we can’t have nice things, but the vid can also be listened to on youtube

lyrics & tracklist:

{{ [Love Is] The Tender Trap (you’re hooked / you’re cooked / you’re caught in the tender trap) // Who Can I Turn To (When Nobody Needs Me) (but who can I turn to / if you turn away?) // Love Me or Leave Me (i want your love / but i don’t want to borrow) // Why Did I Choose You? (why did i want you? / what could you offer me?) // Black Coffee (love’s a hand-me-down brew) // Impossible Love ( impossible love / the kind you only hear of in cinematic dreams…it’s a chess game / a game of darts) // Neurosis (you say that we are friends / and then you put a gun up to my head / try to make amends) // Wolf in Cheap Clothes (born to deceive, baby you ain’t foolin me / with your shiny shirts and funny lies you’re running out of time) // Tango Till They’re Sore (i’ll tell you all my secrets / but lie about my past) // Let’s Face the Music and Dance (there may be trouble ahead / but while there’s music and moonlight and love and romance) // Love and Treachery (i put on my gloves tonight / they remind me of hustlers, confidence men, and you) // I Had the Craziest Dream (if there’s a chance that you care / then please say you do baby) }}

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ficlet: amity in peril; strange places, old faces

Tue, 31 Mar 2020 04:32:40 GMT

a ficlet for my tabletop rpg OC, a space pirate Amity Madeline Auclair

[warnings: npc animal death;

for context if your space pirate has a high enough Peril stat, they will be in danger of losing their life, but they can lower Peril back to zero if one of their social connections/touchstones npc's is sacrificed. my party member suggested sacrificing my crystal horse at a particular scene and i refused to at the time; if it did happen, it might have gone like so]

The sound of steel slashes through the air, until it collides with something in its path. A dragging cut, a scream of iron on solid flesh.

Malady, her smoking pistol in hand, turns around, looking away from Captain Zebre's body on the ground.

Clarabelle, her arm draped around Malady, turns around.

Atric at the back of the room has backed up even closer to the wall with the piano, his eyes surprised.

Amity's own sabre falls from her hand to the ground with a clatter.

"Kenneth! Kenneth!" She drops to her knees, one hand reaching out to cradle Kinesthelesian's head, the other frantically trying to blot the seeping blood from his wound across his neck. She calls out again, "Kinesthelesian!"

As a crystal horse, Kinesthelesian did not bleed red.

But he did bleed. Something liquid and iridescent, almost bright like shining glass, the smell of it like rust and ashes.

"No. No no no. Kenneth." Amity raises his head so he was resting against her, and not the floor. "We'll get you back to the ship, get you to the medical quarters--"

Kenneth lowers his eyes, tries to make a reassuring whinnying sound before coughing. "It's all right, Amity. It's all right. I said I promised to be with you as long as I could. I'm glad that you are--" A choked sound, as more blood swept out from his wound, spilling between Amity's fingers.

"No. No. I promised you--I promised I would take you back to Laurentia once, just once, before this year was up. Back home. Home. We would ride past the purple cliffs again, race past the ocean against the wind, like we did when I was five. Don't--don't make me break my word."

He seems to try to say something, but could not form the words. Instead, he nickers softly, and nuzzles his head, just once, against Amity's hand.

Then, silence.

Amity strokes a hand through Kenneth's mane one last time. She tilts her head up, her gaze indecipherable, and stands from her knees.

"...Amity...I...," This came from Marken Ritter the Third, who had frozen in place, his own arm and sword still outstretched in the air. The sword that had aimed for Amity, before Kenneth had leapt into the way.

"Are you satisfied?" Her usually amiable smile was gone. Her eyes were cold and hard as diamonds, despite the shine left by tears.

"I'm...I wasn't..."

"Kinesthelesian, my companion since my childhood, is gone. I could not protect him. By the new moon of next year--my family, my neighbors, my friends--they won't be allowed to stay on their home planet anymore, set foot on a single speck of soil there without someone else's say-so. What have you not taken from me?"

Marken does not say anything.

Amity steps forward, her braid swinging behind her back with the movement. As she does, she half-shrugs off her coat. Unlaces three buttons down her collar, enough to expose the expanse of her throat and neck to the air.

"Will you be satisfied with taking my life? Taking me prisoner?" One step, and another, just in range of the point of Marken's sword now. "Whatever it is you like. Whichever."

One more step. Amity stands there, barely three inches apart from Marken, and tilts up her chin, her unprotected throat nearly pressing into the edge of his sword.

Marken, though his eyes had widened, does not step back. He does not move his hand, or he does not dare to do so.

"It appears I have misjudged you. You are suited to pirating, after all." Amity laughs once, without humor to it. She locks her eyes with his, and says, voice low, "Just how greedy are you, Mark?"

Marken looks at her, for one second. Two.

"Amity," he says at last, his tone odd and unreadable, except maybe, just maybe, for the faintest note of pleading.

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fic: the old moon in the new moon's arms

Sat, 21 Mar 2020 19:32:26 GMT

remember when i got obsessed with that visual novel with dark fantasy elves, welp here's
a 7k fic for it

ernol/alenca, check warnings in notes

"You've been well, Alenca dear?" Lonre says, solicitous. "I couldn't help but notice you have been looking a little peaky—those dark circles under the eyes can be a terrible thing to get rid of, but I know of just the thing for them, very in demand in Lalari—"

I draw my shoulders back, and make my smile brighter. "I've been very well, Lonre. A little tired, perhaps, but thank you for inquiring."

Ernol besides me had shot a glance at his father that was so icy, it could have stripped flesh from bone. "Alluvion Alenca," Ernol says, pressing weight on the syllables of my title, "has been more than busy enough with her duties than to spend time to worry about her appearances at present."

alternatively; Alenca deals with change. Ernol is there with her.

{{READ ON AO3}}

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a review of Ebon Light

Sat, 14 Mar 2020 05:41:18 GMT

since i know many mutuals are looking for things to pass the time with, here's a review of a visual novel that i've been enjoying:

what is Ebon Light?

~~just a village girl / living in a fantasy world / taking a midnight ship going anywhereeee~~ a dark fantasy visual novel game created by underbliss; a tumblr post of it can be found here and it is also downloadable through itch.io

tldr; the premise of the game: a girl gains a mysterious power that talks to her, and also runs into a bunch of elves. i think i’ve spent enough hours on this that i was compelled to write a long review on this (and also encourage mutuals to play this, if it is something that seems like your jam).

Minor spoilers might pop up in this review, but nothing that should give away too much plot things.

just to calibrate expectations properly, the game creator seems to have mentioned that this is definitely weighted more towards the fantasy visual novel side than the usual otome game side, so don’t expect like, a ton of CG scenes or sappy moments.

on the other hand, there are enough strong romantic developments in this that it feels like an otome-game adjacent game to me (something in the vibe of persona 3 or persona 4?? where the story takes some precedence over the dating sim bits, but the dating bits are also a significant part of the whole experience?). at any rate, this has both a fun fantasy plot with threads of horror vibes and thoughtful relationship building moments!

things i liked

the worldbuilding
there are different lands and creatures mentioned in the lore, and even though u only see bits of it, it really makes the setting feel lived-in. and yep, there are elves--that’s where the fantasy part of this comes in. But like, if the elves were from a warrior culture and had swords and daggers and assassins and shady political struggles in the background :D

the MC
the MC’s skin color, hair, and name, are all customizable! later on, you also get to do stuff like change into a few different clothing options, and some eye makeup stuff. besides that, the MC takes a very active part in shaping the plot--do you want your MC to talk her way out of trouble? sure! would you rather have her pick up an improvised weapon and fight instead? you can also do that! i also appreciate that even in the very beginning scene the MC is mentioned as trading for goods in her village and looking for edible plants in the forest and just doing stuff

the art
dark, gothic mood, lots of gray-blue clouds and purple and muted, melancholy tones, lots of forest and ocean landscapes, and somewhat gloomy manors plus interesting character designs!

Warnings for content (some spoilers to follow)
i don’t think there’s much to warn for at all in this game? it’s probably appropriate for teens and up to play. there are some horror elements, but no gore or extreme violence, and some death scenes for the MC depending on your choices, but again, there really isn’t any blood/major injuries shown on screen.

if there is anything to warn for, it would probably be some amount of psychological manipulation by the power that the girl gains, bad dreams that are hard to distinguish from what is happening in reality, the depiction of an explosion/fire around the halfway point of the story, and mentions of a possibly obsessive relationship between background characters.

the love interests/other characters

tbh haven’t finished the entire game, have my thoughts anyways (◕‿◕✿)

Vadeyn

first impression: ahh he looks smiley and sweet? is he going to get betrayed? brainwashed? is he going to get betrayed and brainwashed into forgetting you???

reality: yes, he is just as sweet as he appears, overall a gentle and considerate character type concerned with your feelings and well-being, probably knows what the geneva convention is ~~just ignore that they don’t have the geneva convention in this setting my point still stands~~

Haron

first impression: he’s a flirt huh

reality: yeahhh, he’s a flirt but also more emotionally expressive by miles compared to everyone else...Nice

Ernol

first impression:
me, reading his character description--serious, focused on warrior stuff, craves the approval of his role models?? hm. sounds boring.

reality:
ernol, practically snarling: “if any assassins come after you, i will fight them for you!!”

me: ...hey...hey...u can’t just Say things like that, give a girl some warning...i can’t believe this this is my Exact Weakness :’’)

seems the most emotionally cold, but actually FEELS ALL THE FEELINGS most intensely, immediately shot up to the top of my favorite love interests list after playing thru that route

*note: there seems to be a minor bug on ernol’s route where after the relationship upgrade/confession conversation, when you click on his character picture it shows a dark broken heart symbol instead of 2 red hearts as expected? i just played the game through anyways, and seemed to still have gotten to a good end, so i ignored it

Laceaga

first impression: the mean grumpy one??

reality: i expect it’s a bit of an enemies-to-lovers slow burn thing, based on what other commenters have said, and im looking forward to it

Duliae

first impression: ohhh boy, i bet his personality is 90% “words can’t hurt me, my shades are gucci” ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪♬

reality: idk but to my best guess it’s likely something like *slaps the roof of a car* this long lifespan can fit so much Angst in it!!

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that's adulthood, baby!

Sun, 01 Mar 2020 01:01:01 GMT

that’s adulthood, baby!

basic kpop bops for your early 20’s to 30’s; bittersweet nostalgia and exhausted ennui, tempered by the hopeful longing that somehow, just somehow, you will be okay.

{ i. 20 Something- Jeong Sewoon, ii. Workaholic- BOL4, iii. Vanishing Paycheck- Stella Jang, iv. 1+1=0 - Suran, v. The Grasshopper Song- Sunny Hill, vi. Chicken- Sweet Bean, vii. This coffee- Yoon Daum, viii. Reality- Akmu, ix. Sweet Lies- Baek A Yeon, x. Spring again- Cao Lu, Kisum, Yerin, xi. So Busy- KittiB, Jace, xii. Being an Adult- Kim Na Young, xiii. Zero- Minseo}

*most songs have english subs if subtitles are turned on

{{LISTEN ON PLAYMOSS}}

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fic: the way her heart has become a stone

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 01:18:22 GMT

fic for The Witcher tv show, a yennefer-centric character study type of thing
She has nothing to call her own, nothing that belongs solely to her but her name.
Or: an account of gifts that Yennefer receives over the years.
{{Read on AO3}}

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Mind Over Matter: A Ferdinand/Hubert Rec List

Fri, 11 Oct 2019 19:34:44 GMT

Rec list title from this song. Just a quick list of some of the fics i liked because i have a lot of feelings about caffeinated drinks now for no reason and it is absolutely all their fault. Check fics for warnings and ratings before reading.

A Nighttime Stroll by Aoki
Ferdinand finds Hubert late one night whilst on the way to the library.
Set after A+ support. I love me my unreliable narrators.

Bridge the Gap by tamerofdarkstars
“I was… planning on offering an olive branch,” Ferdinand admitted. “A truce, of sorts, if you could call it that.” -Mild spoilers for the Black Eagles Route.

And They Were His Neighbors (Oh my god they were his neighbors) by Sunnybone
Caspar is extremely tired because his neighbor, Ferdinand, does not seem to understand that the dormitory walls are actually quite thin.

Unspoken Things by QuoteMyFoot
Ferdinand assures Hubert that he doesn't need to hear 'I love you.'

like being poisoned by Ludella
Ferdinand is injured during battle and only Hubert is nearby to help him. They take cover in a cave by the battlefield, and Hubert is forced to come to terms with some uncomfortable feelings.

Reason by MachineQueen
Ferdinand is tasked with taming a pegasus that hates him. Hubert is on hand to witness his failure. Their only hope is to try and work together.

The Show Must Go On by SIGF
Major Character Death. ... Because of course the funeral of Ferdinand von Aegir would be an utterly ridiculous and indulgent affair. [SPOILER IN THE REST OF THE SUMMARY].

Cause for Celebration by Ludella
“Dance with me.”

Hubert blinks slowly while processing the question. It’s enough time without a response for Ferdinand to turn to him, raising a curious brow while that almost smug smile remains on Ferdinand’s face. “Prime minister,” Hubert begins in a teasingly low voice, “what would people say?”

Some of Our Courting Hours by inwhatfurnace
Running a circus, Ferdinand imagines, must be quite like planning a ball. He has assistants, of course, and those assistants have assistants, but there is too much to worry about: the invitations, the food, the security, the decorations, the entertainment, the silverware, Edelgard’s outfit, his own outfit, the fact that Hubert will not stop touching him --

vitrification by lady_peony*
He drew his right thumb over the last line in the message, scrawled in the code used by his informants:

Target captured and secured. Prime Minister von Aegir is safe.

*technically this fic was written by me, but im proud of it so...

advance, retreat in three fourths beat by lady_peony
Hubert participates in a duel. Ferdinand objects to this.

incidental pleasures by xenosaurus
Hubert sees little value in self-denial for its own sake.

Steel in a Forge by Rosage
Until now, everything Hubert has done has been for Edelgard. She tries to convince him it’s all right to change.

Gratitude by GoldenThreads
“You, dear Ferdie, want to hear a thank you for every single thing you do. Every. Single. Thing.” Dorothea wagged a finger at him with each word, then shrugged. “Hubie would rather eat his shoe than hear the words.”

“No one has ever thanked him?” Ferdinand asked, face twisting with such affronted shock that she may as well have slandered his favorite horse.

Ferdinand embarks on a seduction (?). Part 1 of A Soft Seduction series.
Followed by Care and Patience, Ponies, and Pastries.

Coming of Age by GoldenThreads
Ferdinand was a general. In theory. Edelgard had promised him continued command of his battalion, and a general needed a certain measure of wealth to supply his horses, his servants, his armor and rations and lodgings and, she’d promised.

But his father sat rotting in a cell, or worse, and it could be nothing more than a fable they thought him simple enough to believe. What did promises matter?

When the house of Aegir collapses around him, Ferdinand struggles to forge a path forward. He quickly discovers he can't manage it alone -- and neither, perhaps, can Edelgard.

scarlet ears, sunlit days by CutiePi
Ferdinand experiences several epiphanies regarding Hubert, but somehow misses the most important one.

jewels of the empire by CutiePi
Hubert has a night full of surprises.

The Merits of Tea and Coffee by garbage_dono
"Tea has its merits."

"It certainly does, and yet…not everyone enjoys it. There are so many different blends – bergamot, chamomile, angelica. Some are picky, and some enjoy them all, and others prefer coffee."

Hubert and Ferdinand try to come to terms with their own desires in the middle of a bloody war.

Fake It til you Make It by MooeyDooey
Ferdinand and Hubert pretend to be secretly dating each other, in order to distract a dangerous group of rebellion spies hiding in Enbarr. But they’re both professionals. So there’s no chance of them catching real feelings for each other… right?

one sentiment enlightens to another by newamsterdam
Of all of Ferdinand von Aegir’s more vexing qualities, the worst is this— the man has absolutely no idea of the effect he has on other people.

The Albinean ambassador gifts Ferdinand a ludicrous amount of coffee. And that is only where Hubert's problems concerning the Prime Minister begin.

A Softer Sort of Courage by ProcrastinatingPalindrome
Hubert had been taught from an early age to guard his heart, to hide any sign of weakness away so that it could never be used against him. He couldn't understand Ferdinand, who wore his heart on his sleeve for all to see.(Alternatively, five times Hubert saw Ferdinand cry, and one time their roles were reversed.)

A Shared Orbit by coolkidroland
Love, like war, is a heady and confusing thing. Ferdinand and Hubert fumble their way through.

The Bishop and a Knight (Leave the Board) by bluestrawberryii
Ferdinand and Hubert are caught on opposite sides of a war.
(Alternatively: Whoops accidentally got attached to Ferdinand and then felt bad about separating him from his friends! Time to write a fic about it.)

Festering Under Your Skin by Bohemienne
(you’ve probably read this fic. you love this fic :)
Once he dreamed of peeling away his gloves and running bare fingers through that bright orange hair. But they found themselves on opposite sides of the war--a war that Hubert lost.

He intends to make Ferdinand pay for that. Ferdinand has other plans.

Denial & Deception by Bohemienne
When the Black Eagles Strike Force's top mole in the Leicester Alliance is discovered, Byleth proposes a drastic plan to gather the necessary intelligence for an invasion. Hubert and Ferdinand will have to fake a clandestine relationship, feud with Edelgard, flee the Empire, and take refuge in the Alliance to begin gathering the information the emperor needs . . . assuming they don't kill each other in the process.

Growing Pains by Marks
"It is disgusting out there!" Ferdinand declares from the doorway, removing his coat and thoroughly shaking out like a dog. "I am disgusting."

Hubert raises an eyebrow. “You have never been disgusting a day in your life."

"Wrong. I have had more disgusting days than I can count.” Ferdinand continues to wring out his hair. "There is a reason I did not accompany my father to Enbarr for two full years following my twelfth birthday."

The Art of Diplomacy by Marks
Hubert had grown on him, just as poisonous mushrooms sometimes grew at the base of sturdy trees, and when Edelgard asked them if they could get along for the duration, both had readily agreed.

Sometimes you only realize your crush is your crush when you bring him along on a diplomatic mission to another country.

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Dear Yuletide Author

Wed, 10 Oct 2018 07:06:47 GMT

Dear Yuletide Author,

I am so very grateful that it's that time of the year again, and I'm sure I will enjoy whatever it is you choose to write! Without further ado:

General Likes: I am pretty flexible when it comes to canon; anything in the range of canon to canon-divergent AUs (like what would happen if this one point in canon changed) are usually fine with me. Close examinations of two character dynamics in a shipping or non-shipping capacity or ensemble cast stories are great.

Other things I enjoy: emotional epiphanies, characters supporting each other, questions of loyalty & lionhearts & fealty, dealing with painful family pasts, dramatic or subtle rescues, ambiguous relationships turned romantic or with romantic implications.

( Read more... )

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someone dances a mazurka and falls in love, scandalously

Thu, 05 Apr 2018 05:18:56 GMT

GUESS WHO FINISHED READING WAR AND PEACE!!!

ALL 3100 PAGES!!!!!

to explain ~~no there is too much to explain~~ to sum up

i was mildly diverted in the initial start of the ride in this doorstopper novel

i dunno which translation i had exactly, but it was an ebook which lets you jump back and forth between french phrases and their footnote translations which was very merci bien of them
the social scenes and maneuvering at the beginning was wonderful-- we start with a down-on-her-luck fallen noble lady trying to call in old favors so that her son could get some reasonably comfortable official post in the military and it also reoccurs to an even more touching moment in the middle of the book (when an old best friend of her agrees to provide some money so her son could have the proper outfit for his position, and they cry because of how emotional they feel about the friendship)
we get introduced to the rostovs, and pierre's beginnings
ah pierre is #RELATABLE
there is a description of a scene at a party where he's like sitting in a chair that is inconveniently in the way of everyone entering the room, but only pierre doesn't notice that he's blocking everyone's route and is just...classic Awkward turtle in 18th century russia
pierre has a pretty tragic backstory, neglectful rich father, his uncertain role as an illegitimate son, and then a somewhat hilarious scene where some of pierre's allies successfully fight back-and-forth with some antagonists over the scrap of paper that was his father's will, which in turn paves the way for pierre to become the richest bachelor in russia
the descriptions of the...hmm social bickering for positions and such at balls and parties and theater scenes is delightful
natasha is still just a girl and doesn't come into the forefront yet
ANATOLE. ANATOLE AND DOLOKHOV??? THEY WERE BASICALLY THE EQUIVALENT OF LITERARY CLASSIC FRAT BROS
DOLOKHOV???? MADE A BET THAT HE COULD FINISH CHUGGING A WHOLE GALLON OF WHISKY WITHOUT FALLING OFF THE HIGH WINDOWSILL HE WAS SITTING ON???? ON A WHIM?? UNBELIEVABLE
this isn't even mentioning the bear and policeman incident which was highly comedic and got pierre in trouble
BUT LOOK

DOLOKHOV FALLS IN LOVE WITH SONYA??? WILD
then he decides to mess with the rostov's debts because sonya refused him as she was in unrequited (?) love with natasha's brother nicholaus
what a dick move
i love love love that i decided to read this after listening to the musical; the lines that they use from the book directly in the songs really have a cool I RECOGNIZE THIS LINE factor
anatole walked into the room with a swagger // which would have been ridiculous // had he not been so good-looking etc etc
andrei is...well, he's nice, and is friends with pierre just generally an okay-dude
andrei was also MARRIED before natasha and had 1 son; he doesn't really...respect or even like his first wife tho
he's more irritated by her than anything, for being...pretty and kind within social expectations and not being able to like converse well with him
then his first wife dies from childbirth
he falls in love with natasha much later, when pierre kind of nudges him into asking natasha for a dance
the chapters of andrei being in war were a bit of a slog, but contextually speaking also provide for a good contrast with the fun social scenes, and then all the light happy things collapse and they have to all move to petersburg
helene briefly becomes catholic? for one chapter because she wants to marry two other potentially rich guys while still married to pierre
helene would have done ridiculously well for herself in a late-90's hs teen movie
her social charm powers are even higher than regina george
tolstoy has the worst nemesis hate-crush on napoleon and it shows for so many chapters in the book...SO VERY MANY
tolstoy also has the....i want to say opposite outlook of yang wen-li on history? like he thinks its an interesting fascinating subject but he also scoffs at historians who try to do like...a historians job...or he has a very nihilistic perspective that people can understand anything about history while it's going on and i would concede that this likely plays into his own background and historical happenings of the time but would need to do more research on this
seriously tolstoy you spent another HUNDRED extra pages after the families had their social things wrapped up going on about this history subject
also hate-crushing on napoleon
SONYA WAS ROBBED OF A GOOD ENDING??natasha becomes good friends with princess mary, princess mary also marries natasha's brother, since sonya was also persuaded by natasha's mother to write a break-up letter to nicholaus
then tolstoy notes that sonya stuck around the rostov's family like...a familiar pet cat, and calls her a 'sterile flower'
REALLY?
NATASHA IS ALSO ROBBED OF A GOOD ENDING???????? she stops singing??? A hobby she loves??? and doesn't care about her appearances anymore or go out into society?? and only worries about pierre and her children, which ok, FINE if you must, but did you really need to include that sentence about women's rights and then natasha not caring about that kind of talk??
in one of his previous novels, it's sort of an uncomfortable subject for tolstoy; he definitely makes clear mentions that other intellectual people were discussing things like women's rights in conversation, and he writes women characters sympathetically and with their own feelings and motivations, but then he ALSO FRUSTRATINGLY turns around and goes, 'AH WELL AHAHAHA the happiest heroine characters marry a good man after a bunch of obstacles and don't WORRY a thing about stuff like women's rights what's THAT?" *kicks it under a dining room tablecloth*
a lot of characters die at the end //looks up a title// not that i expected things to go much differently
now i can say i have read this entire book and check it off the list of to-read things HURRAH
time to look up some tv series for it afterwards and so on and so forth
my reading timespan for this was around...2 months

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Dear Yuletide Author

Mon, 02 Oct 2017 00:26:15 GMT

Dear Yuletide Author,

It's hereeee, my favorite season of the year! Thank you mystery author for your efforts, and I am sure looking forward to whatever type of fic you may decide to write.

That aside, let's get down to details.

General Likes: I am pretty flexible when it comes to canon; anything in the range of canon to canon-divergent AUs (like what would happen if this one point in canon changed) are usually fine with me. Close examinations of two character dynamics in a shipping or non-shipping capacity or ensemble cast stories are great. Anything in the range of romantic fluff, or darker mystery/adventure with intense emotions is very very cool with me.

Other things I enjoy: emotional epiphanies, characters supporting each other, growing friendships, dealing with the weight of responsibilities and duties, dealing with painful family pasts, dramatic or subtle rescues, ambiguous relationships turned romantic or with romantic implications.

( Read more... )

comments

izumisays: you’re a broken soldier! you

Wed, 27 Jul 2016 05:29:29 GMT

via http://ift.tt/2augIqg:
izumisays:

you’re a broken soldier! you can’t hold out forever!

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Revolutionary Girl Utena (sub) on YouTube

Wed, 27 Jul 2016 05:17:02 GMT

via http://ift.tt/2aapBpi:Revolutionary Girl Utena (sub) on YouTube:

cetaceanhandiwork:

Nozomi Entertainment has posted the show to watch for free, 100% legally.

Revolutionary Girl Utena (1997) is a visually stunning, symbolically dense anime with an amazing and unique soundtrack. The action centers around Tenjou Utena, a girl who has decided she’s going to be a prince (not princess) when she grows up, getting caught up in a series of sword duels which she ends up fighting to protect Himemiya Anthy, a mysterious girl in her year.

It’s an anime about fairy tales, the confusion that comes with growing up, how patriarchy hurts everyone but the patriarchs, and escaping cycles of abuse.

It’s also an anime where one of the characters has a boxing fight with a kangaroo, another character spends a whole episode thinking people lay eggs, and a yaoi-lookin’ dude repeatedly rides shirtless on the hood of his corvette.

Revolutionary Girl Utena is probably the best anime I’ve ever watched.

I’m not sure how long Nozomi Entertainment is going to leave it up - normally they only have a few episodes available at a time - so my recommendation is that, if you haven’t seen this show already, you should jump on this opportunity ASAP.

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inkskinned: growing up with someone who hurts us as our guardian does more than make our childhood..

Wed, 27 Jul 2016 05:05:37 GMT

via http://ift.tt/2acKJoy:
inkskinned:

growing up with someone who hurts us as our guardian does more than make our childhood a flinch we don’t speak about.

they talk a lot about how the cycle should be broken, but we have to break little habits, too. we are taught that love looks like yelling, that the only way to express ourselves is to explode. we say things like, “i’m horrible” because we mean “thank you for being with me.” we don’t know how to say soft things, are scared to confront our own feelings.

it is hard. a lot of what we are taught gets under our skin. little things that hurt others without us meaning to. the result of living in a toxic house is that you can be toxic, too. even those of us who are doing our best to be better, to be nothing like our parents: we have to constantly check with our loved ones that we are not controlling them. we have to look at every behavior with a microscope - are we complaining too much? or is bottling it up not healthy? or are we just used to nit-picking? or is this a legitimate problem which we should voice? are we saying this nice enough but serious enough to get the point across? or are we being unfair?

the truth about bad parents is that it is not a childhood problem that erases in college. the one source of unconditional love you were supposed to receive ends up only loving you conditionally - only if you’re quiet, if you tread lightly.

it is hard. we are the ones who have to read those “how to know if your partner is toxic” posts and see if we are displaying those behaviors. we live in terror of being our parents’ ghosts.

but we can be better. we can make a house a home. i believe in you. you’re not alone.

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aegipanomnicorn: finnglas: Gather round, children. Auntie Jules has a degree in psychology with a...

Wed, 27 Jul 2016 04:59:01 GMT

via http://ift.tt/2a3HLmW:
aegipanomnicorn:

finnglas:

Gather round, children. Auntie Jules has a degree in psychology with a specialization in social psychology, and she doesn’t get to use it much these days, so she’s going to spread some knowledge.

We love saying representation matters. And we love pointing to people who belong to social minorities being encouraged by positive representation as the reason why it matters. And I’m here to tell you that they are only a part of why it matters.

The bigger part is schema.

Now a schema is just a fancy term for your brain’s autocomplete function. Basically, you’ve seen a certain pattern enough times that your brain completes the equation even when you have incomplete information.

One of the ways we learned about this was professional chess players vs. people who had no experience with chess.

If you take a chess board and you set it up according to a pattern that is common in chess playing (I’m one of those people who knows jack shit about chess), and you show it to both groups of people, and then you knock all the pieces off the board, the pro chess players will be able to return it to its prior state almost perfectly with no trouble, because they looked at it and they said, “Oh, this is the fifth move of XYZ Strategy, so these pieces would be here.”

The people who don’t know about chess are like, “Uh, I think one of the horses was over here, and maybe there was a castle over there?”

BUT, if you just put the pieces randomly on the board before you showed it to them, then the amateurs were more likely to have a higher rate of accuracy in returning the pieces to the board, because the pros are SO entrenched in their knowledge of strategy patterns that it impairs their ability to see what is actually there if it doesn’t match a pattern they already know.

Now some of y’all are smart enough to see where this is going already but hang on because I’m never gonna get to be a college professor so let me get my lecture on for a second.

Let’s say for a second that every movie and TV show on television ever shows black men who dress in loose white T-shirts and baggy pants as carrying guns 90% of the time, and when they get mad, they pull that gun out and wave it in some poor white woman’s face. I mean, sounds fake, right? But go with it.

Now let’s say that you’re out walking around in real life, and you see a black man wearing a white T-shirt and loose-fitting jeans.

And let’s say he reaches for something in his pocket.

And let’s say you can’t see what he’s reaching for. Maybe it’s his wallet. Maybe it’s his cell phone or car keys. Maybe it’s a bag of Skittles.

But on TV and movies, every single time a black man in comfortable, casual clothes reaches for something you can’t see, it turns out to be a gun.

So you see this.

And your brain screams “GUN!!!” before he even comes up with anything. And chances are even if you SEE the cell phone, your brain will still think “GUN!!!” until he does something like put it up to his ear. (Unless you see the pattern of non-threatening black men more often than you see the narrative of them as a threat, in which case, the pattern you see more often will more likely take precedence in this situation.)

Do you see what I’m saying?

I’m saying that your brain is Google’s autocomplete for forms, and that if you type something into it enough, that is going to be what the function suggests to you as soon as you even click anywhere near a box in a form.

And our brains functioning this way has been a GREAT advantage for us as a species, because it means we learn. It means that we don’t have to think about things all the way through all the time. It saves us time in deciding how to react to something because the cues are already coded into our subconscious and we don’t have to process them consciously before we decide how to act.

But it also gets us into trouble. Did you know that people are more likely to take someone seriously if they’re wearing a white coat, like the kind medical doctors wear, or if they’re carrying a clipboard? Seriously, just those two visual cues, and someone is already on their way to believing what you tell them unless you break the script entirely and tell them something that goes against an even more deeply ingrained schema.

So what I’m saying is, representation is important, visibility is important, because it will eventually change the dominant schemas. It takes consistency, and it takes time, but eventually, the dominant narrative will change the dominant schema in people’s minds.

It’s why when everyone was complaining that same-sex marriage being legal wouldn’t really change anything for LGB people who weren’t in relationships, some people kept yelling that it was going to make a huge difference, over time, because it would contribute to the visibility of a narrative in which our relationships were normalized, not stigmatized. It would contribute to changing people’s schemas, and that would go a long way toward changing what they see as acceptable, as normal, and as a foregone conclusion.

So in conclusion: Representation is hugely important, because it’s probably one of the single biggest ways to change people’s behavior, by changing their subconscious perception.

(It is also why a 24-hour news cycle with emphasis on deconstructing every. single. moment. of violent crimes is SUCH A TERRIBLE SOCIETAL INFLUENCE, but that is a rant for another post.)

I love a good lecture.

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Where are you outside Tumblr?

Wed, 27 Jul 2016 04:49:48 GMT

via http://ift.tt/2apaTau:
callmearcturus:

Oh man, with the news that Yahoo has devalued Tumblr, then why don’t we do one of these.

Tag this post with where you’d like to be found outside Tumblr. Just in case.

ex: #ao3: myusernamehere, #twitter: myusernamehere, #dreamwidth: myusername here

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squints into landscape with great skepticism

Wed, 20 Jul 2016 06:49:07 GMT

wow it's been a while since i had to worry about posting with rich text or html.

if you are wondering if this is me, then yes it is probably me with the same name on the other platforms.

i can use a userpic again, i can use multiple userpics, oh boy.

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untangling these threads of thought

fic: closing speed

fic: catch us on our good side

fic: irregular resolution

fic: stand and deliver your diamond ring, chapter ii (complete)

fic: stand and deliver your diamond ring

fic: ambiguity aversion

Castling Your King: An Akira Kurusu/Goro Akechi Rec List

One-Shots (includes canon, canon divergence, future fics, and AUs)

Epic Fics

fanmix: tell you all my secrets

ficlet: amity in peril; strange places, old faces

fic: the old moon in the new moon's arms

a review of Ebon Light

what is Ebon Light?

things i liked

the love interests/other characters

that's adulthood, baby!

that’s adulthood, baby!

fic: the way her heart has become a stone

Mind Over Matter: A Ferdinand/Hubert Rec List

Dear Yuletide Author

someone dances a mazurka and falls in love, scandalously

Dear Yuletide Author

izumisays: you’re a broken soldier! you

Revolutionary Girl Utena (sub) on YouTube

inkskinned: growing up with someone who hurts us as our guardian does more than make our childhood..

aegipanomnicorn: finnglas: Gather round, children. Auntie Jules has a degree in psychology with a...

Where are you outside Tumblr?

squints into landscape with great skepticism

One-Shots
(includes canon, canon divergence, future fics, and AUs)